


The Lonely Irishman

by Firenza



Series: Septic Egos Oneshots [12]
Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Christmas, Ornaments, Snow, im so sorry, mild horror elements, self deprecation, the dog dies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-27 06:44:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17157170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Firenza/pseuds/Firenza
Summary: There once was a man named Sean who lived alone with only his Christmas ornaments for company. Imagine his surprise one morning when he wakes to see them very much alive in his kitchen.





	The Lonely Irishman

**Author's Note:**

> Merry Christmas everyone!

There once lived a man by the name of Sean. Sean lived deep in the thick woods of Ireland, excluded from most contact from the outside world. His small log cabin was just large enough to house himself and his dog, Gizmo. Gizmo was an old but lively dog, and Sean loved her very much. 

It was around Christmas time when the old girl passed away. Sean was left alone with no friends and no family. Just himself and the silent woods. Sean was getting ready for the holiday. His tree was mostly bare, save for a few strands of tinsel and five people-shaped ornaments. Every ornament was it’s own person. Each decorated in different clothes and poses, they made the Irishman feel a little less alone. 

The first was a superhero. Donning a red suit and blue mask, he was ready to restore justice to an unbalanced world.

The second was a magician. With his cat mask resting atop his nose, he bravely fought off any monsters that dared come his way.

The third was a surgeon. A pressed lab coat hung off his shoulders, and with a scalpel in hand, he prepared to persevere through each obstacle in his way.

The fourth was an actor. Silently armed with nothing more than an expressive face and a bowler hat, he was always patient if someone wished to speak with him about their problems.

The fifth, and final, was an ordinary man with nothing but an old t-shirt and a snapback cap. And yet, without any special abilities or magic, he was the kindest and most loved of them all. Even though he was cracked in multiple faces, he had the widest smile of them all. 

These five little people made life a little less empty sometimes. When Sean was having a particularly hard day, he would pick the actor off his branch and rant to him for a while. If he was scared of the strange noises that would come from the woods at night, he would take the magician and the hero and put him on his bedside table. When he was going through a rough patch, the surgeon reminded him to keep on going. When he just needed a friend, he sought comfort in the ordinary man who was just like him.

Early in the morning two days before Christmas, Sean is woken up by a loud noise from outside his bedroom. Fearing that there was an animal in his house, he grabs a nearby baseball bat kept by his bed for situations like this and creeps out of his room. There’s nothing in the living room, but hushed voices drift from the kitchen. Sean freezes in his tracks. People? In his house? He was so secluded from the rest of the world that it had been so long since he’d seen another person. Not only that, but he truly had nothing of value. Why on Earth would anyone come to rob him? Hiding behind an outcrop of wall, he pokes his head into the kitchen and is quite surprised at what he sees. 

Four people, dressed very similarly to his ornaments, are cooking breakfast at his stove. One notices him and taps on another’s shoulder. “Look, he’s awake!” He cries happily. They pull Sean into the kitchen to greet him warmly. 

“Who are you all?” Sean asks, quite confused.

The man in a red jumpsuit answers, “We’re your ornaments, your friends! We’ve come to make you less lonely.”

“Oh!” Sean exclames. “Shouldn’t there be five of you, though?”

The surgeon’s face falls slightly, “You are correct. Our last friend refused to come out. He doesn’t believe that he has a purpose. Sean, we beg of you. You must convince him otherwise.”

“Alright,” He agrees. “Is he still on the tree?” The actor shakes his head and carefully produces the final ornament from his pocket. He carefully hands him to Sean. Sean takes the ornament and holds it at his eye level. “Hello there! You’ve known me for such a long time, and yet, I don’t know you at all. It would be lovely if you came out and introduced yourself.”

But the ornament doesn’t budge an inch.

The superhero takes the ornament from Sean and sets it on the table, “We know you don’t think you belong with us, but the truth is that you do!”

“Yes!” The magician agrees, “You’re so nice to everyone you meet, but put too much pressure on yourself to be like us.”

“I wish I had your kindness, my friend,” The surgeon agrees, “That’s your superpower. Who cares about things like bravery or perseverance? Kindness will take you much farther in life.”

You are so loved. The actor scribbles on a piece of paper. Don’t ever forget that. 

Finally, the ornament begins to shake. In a puff of glitter, a man appears on the table. He nervously fidgets with his hands as he speaks, “You don’t really mean that.” He asks.

“Of course we do,” says Sean. “You seem like such an amazing person!”

“But you don’t even know me. How can you know how I really am? These cracks make me ugly, and I have no purpose. I can’t help anyone like the hero and magician do. I can’t save lives like the surgeon. I can’t make people laugh like the actor.” He turns away and briskly walks out of the house. The front door slams behind him.

Sean freezes. It wasn’t safe to go outside at night. It was so dark, and it was when the monster feeds. If he caught him- Sean didn’t want to think about what would happen. They had to get him back inside, and fast. 

He explains this to the others and they race outside into the bitter cold. The air nips at any exposed skin. None of them had thought to grab jackets. They would surely get frostbite if they were out here too long. 

“We should split into groups of two and three,” the hero suggests. “That way we can cover more ground.” They group up; the magician with Sean and the surgeon, and the hero with the actor. 

“Be careful,” Sean warns. “Not even I know what he’s capable of.” 

The forest is think with undergrowth and trees that tower so high over their heads that the tops aren’t even visible. Clouds cover what little light there is from the moon and stars, leaving their surroundings almost pitch dark. The magician creates a small orb of light to illuminate their path, but even that doesn’t help much. It’s almost as if the forest was sucking the light out of everything and turning it into darkness.

They come across a mostly empty clearing. Not even grass covers the dirt floor. In the very center, a rotten tree stump sits. The air is eerily still. No wind rustles the bare branches of the trees. No breeze kicks the light dusting of snow into a frenzy. It’s still, and in any other circumstance would be considered peaceful. But not here. Not now.

Sean senses him before he sees him. A tickle at the back of his mind, teasing him to look. He doesn’t want to look. In truth, he’d never seen the monster. That was about to change.

He turns around to look at the forest, and is met with… nothing. There’s nothing there. The surgeon and magician give him strange looks, and split to explore the clearing more. Sean stays put for a second, scanning the area for any sign of the creature. Still nothing. Chalking it up to paranoia, he moves away from the tree line to look around the clearing.

Then, he feels it again. A feather brushing against the back of his brain. He turns around again, quicker this time, and he sees it. It’s human shaped, but in the worst way possible. With limbs too long to be normal and razor sharp claws threatening to tear his face off, it’s easily the worst thing he’s ever seen in his life. The light from the magician’s orb bounces off it’s rows of green teeth. 

Sean summons his bravery and calls, “Who are you?” He gets no response, but the creature turns and walks straight towards him. “Wh-what do you want?”

The creature laughs, a sound like grating nails against a chalkboard. “Yo͢u ̴f̷e̕el ͘s̶o͡ ̸m̸a̴n̴y͠ ̛èm̛otio͞ns.̛ ҉So ma̧n͝y͡.̀.̕. d̢eli̛c͝i̶o͜us̴ em͞otiǫns.” It bares it’s teeth in a twisted sort of grin.

Sean swallows hard. Behind the monster, he sees the hero and the actor quietly sneaking through the undergrowth. A loud snap echoes through the clearing and they all freeze. The monster sharply turns around and lets out a roar of anger. He stalks up to the actor and grabs him by the shirt, pulling him up.

“Wh̸o̵ d͞a̡res̕ s̨ne͏a͠k u̷p͜ o̴n me?̛” He growls. He sniffs the air and drops the actor. “To̷ ̴t̵h͞e ͘o҉n͝e̴ ̸hidin͏g̶ ̀in th̕e ̨t̢r̢ees, I͜ ͏can̨ s̶m̵èl͡l̸ yo̧u͏r̶ ̛fea͜ŗ.͝ Shoẁ y̧óur̸s͜e͏l͟f̸, ́c͏o̷wa̵rd.”

The kind man pushes through the trees, visibly shaking. “L-leave them alone.”

“Why҉? ͢T҉h̸ey̴ a͜r̵e ful̵l̛ ̕of͢ ̧de͞lįc̢i͝o̕u̕s͠ f͡eel̀ings.̀ Fe͏a̛r̢,͞ ̡anger̢.͞ Th̴ey a̶re ̧áļl ̕stonger͝ ̵t́h̵an͡ ̶you͠, ̢a͘nd ͢ye̸t, ̶non͞e o҉f̵ ̨th͝ém̶ fìgh̸t̢ ͡be͡c͝a̢use̸ ̶t͜h̀ey ̷kn̵o͏w̨ t͡h̕e̴y will ̵lo͞se͠. ̨What́ doe͘s͞ ́th͏àt̵ s͝ay ̢ab̢ou͢t͜ y̨o҉u̢?” 

He straightens himself. “They do not fight because they know there are better ways to resolve a situation than through violence. If you resort to hurting us, what does that say about you?”

“Yo͏u a͝re̛ ̡w͜e͝a̶k̢. Y̛o͞u̧ ̧ca͟n̶'́t͠ ҉h̀e̴l̸p҉ ̸a̧ny̵o͡n̕e,͡ ̕e̴spe̡cìal͝ly̨ your͠ f̛r̨ie͘nd̛s.́”

“That’s where you’re wrong,” Sean says. “He is not weak. If anything he is the strongest of us all. When we were all too scared to fight you, he stands up and takes the lead. You are the weak one, resorting to belittling someone to take them down.”

The creature snarls, trying to speak but the magician cuts him off by sending the orb of light to the kind man. He looks at the orb for a moment, then chucks it into the monster’s chest. In a burst of light, the dark creature is destroyed forever. 

The sun is just beginning to shine it’s rays over the horizon as they make their way back to Sean’s cabin. The bitter cold had turned his fingers numb and he was ready to return to the warmth of his home. His ornaments- no, his friends- chatted away behind him. The kind man finally looked at peace as he laughed along side everyone. 

Inside, Sean lights the fireplace while the surgeon makes coffee. They relax around the fire, letting their frozen limbs thaw. “Holy crap…” Sean mutters.

“What is it?” The hero asks worriedly.

“I never learned your names.” Sean laughs. “You all know mine, but I don’t know yours.” 

A thick silence hangs over them, and everyone avets their eyes. The crackling of the fire fills the quiet. The surgeon returns with a tray of steaming coffee mugs. “What’s going on?”

“We’re trying to figure out how to tell Sean we don’t have names.”

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact: the fan favorite song “Silent Night” turned 200 years old yesterday!


End file.
